no more excuses

The last 6 months have been full of ups and downs.  We made a MAJOR move to Tx.  That has left me with mixed emotions.  I have good days and I have bad days.  I'm not going to lie, I miss Colorado.  I miss it more than I thought I would.  This makes me hate Texas somedays.  I miss Laura and the girls.  I feel like a high schooler who just had their heart broken for the first time.  Just like a broken heart, I know that it will take time to move on, and accept that I am not in CO anymore.  I can't discount all the great friends we have made here though, I have made some wonderful friends, who keep me smiling everyday.

The first 3 months after the move, I focused all my energy on finding a job.  Well, after 3 failed attempts at working a restaurant job again ( I had 3 different jobs lined up, but somehow never managed to make it to the first day), I gave up.  I was enjoying being able to stay at home.  It's great to sleep till 8 every morning, sip on my coffee ( which is normally tea), and enjoy the Today show uninterrupted.  I love being with my kids, they are amazing little people.  Laney has gone from baby to toddler overnight!  I am blessed because I have been able to watch this transformation.  I feel like a good wife when dinner is ready for James when he comes home every night.

Anyway, this brings me to the point of this post: NO MORE EXCUSES.  Along with all my feelings of joy about being able to stay at home, I also feel FAT.  This is most I have weighed non-pregnant EVER.  When I look in the mirror I feel disgusting.  I hate the way my body looks.  I have been trying to "get back into shape"  I have good weeks where I run and keep up with it for a week, and then I fall off the wagon.  Yesterday, as I was busy browsing pinterest, I realized that I have no excuse for the way I look and feel.  I am home all day long, and have every opportunity to get into shape and lose the weight that I need to.  My kids are finally old enough to self entertain for a few hours a day.

So today I am committing myself to dropping 15-20 pounds.  It's time to get in shape, feel good about the way I look, and be at a happy weight.   I am also going to eat better!  I feel like I have been eating ok, since we have no money for all the extra fattening foods!  I have no a soda in months, and plan on never having one ever again!  Here are my current stats:

Height: 5'6
Weight: 145-147 (fluctuates)
Bust: 36"
Waist: 33"
Hips: 40"

I'll take a picture and post it tonight.